Which Online Dating Service to Choose?
Online dating is booming, and there are several free and pay for service dating websites. But how do you know which one to choose? As a general rule, I don’t recommend using free dating websites. Many of these websites are often a gateway to erotic materials and scammers. When you are willing to pay for a dating service, you show you are serious about finding a partner. Here are some things to consider when looking for an online dating site:
- Cost – Cost usually varies from site to site and make sure you take note of additional services that may cost extra.
- Features – What features are important for you? Chat, instant messaging, profile matching, privacy settings, and safety are just a few of the features that you will want to consider.
- Members – It is important to see if there are people in your area using the dating service unless you are willing and able to relocate.
A few of the dating websites that I tried were ChristianCafe, Match, eHarmony. My experience with ChristianCafe and Match were superior to the others by far.
Writing an Online Dating Profile
One of the most time consuming, difficult and necessary things you will have to do is write a great profile. You may think that answering all the questions and writing about yourself isn’t important, but it is. People want and need to get an idea of who you are and what you like. The information that you provide is the only way to ensure that you are sending the right message about what you are looking for in a partner. Profiles that are incomplete will get little attention or attention from the wrong people.
It is important, to be honest about yourself. It doesn’t benefit you in any way to misrepresent yourself or provide false information. Most profile forms are broken down into sections that make it easier to fill out. Accentuate the things that make you unique. If you love dogs, let people know you are a dog lover. If you play the guitar, you want people who appreciate music. If you run marathons, you likely don’t want a couch potato. If you love art, you don’t want a person who thinks Picasso is an ice cream flavor. If you like to hunt, you don’t want to fall for someone that believes hunting is cruel.
If you aren’t 6’1” with a six-pack, don’t claim to be. If you are a bartender, don’t claim to be a lawyer with a six-figure income. If you are 40 going on 50, don’t pretend to be 30-something.
List the things that are important to you, such as, going to church, volunteering in the community, family values, sporting events and so on. You want to be able to meet people that share your interests and values.
Some people worry about putting a picture of themselves online, but the truth is profiles with pictures get more views. It is essential to have several pictures that accurately represent you, and this means current pictures, not pictures when you were 15 years younger or before the beer belly.
Have fun writing your profile and highlight your sense of humor. Don’t ramble on and on about superficial things and try to keep your profile from getting too lengthy. Avoid negative comments about the opposite sex. I’ve seen many profiles where it is obvious this person is still bitter from a previous relationship. Bitterness, anger, and sexism are a huge red flag.
Developing Online Relationships
Any relationship that is worthwhile requires nurturing and time to build. It is important to make time to do so. Does your online date get in touch with you regularly? Do you do the same? Neglecting virtual meetings and emails can be considered rude so treat each other’s time with respect. If this attention is lacking, it might mean it’s time to move on.
Communication needs to feel right for both parties. Don’t be pushy, needy or rude when communicating; it can give off bad vibes. Don’t rush! Take time to build trust and learn about one another.
Always respect one another’s privacy. Don’t share people’s photos or other personal information that they have given you.
Even though people have taken to online dating like white on rice, it still takes work to develop new relationships and even more work to grow lasting relationships. Both men and women may have reservations about meeting someone they have been chatting with online because of some scary story they heard. It is important to be careful and practice good judgment. There are nice guys and girls out there looking for their soul mate. You must be patient. Until you both feel comfortable talking online, don’t press for personal information and keep conversations light and fun. Don’t rush the face-to-face meeting either.
Be honest about your physical appearance, job, values, hobbies, interests, beliefs and lifestyle. A good relationship has never been, and will never be, built on lies and deceit. Eventually, the truth will come out and you are back to square one, time has been wasted and trust lost.