Grief Model – Anger and Divorce

Getting through the denial stage was like the calm before the storm. Once I realized that divorce was eminent my feelings quickly turned to anger. The more I learned of my wife’s reasons for the divorce I became even angrier. It was apparent that we had communication issues, but I could not relate to her reasoning, and I did not have the power to change the situation.

During my anger stage, I was mad at her, God, and me. It was a time where my life was filled with accusations and “he said she said” dialog. I was mad at myself for all the mistakes I made. But I think a big part of my anger was directed toward God. “Why did God do this to me?” Even after my denial stage and accepting responsibility for my part I still turned it around and blamed God for not intervening and stopping the divorce, or changing her heart. I blamed God for making me marry her in the first place… Funny huh? It seems funny to me now, but I was serious back then.

I said many things I regretted during my anger stage. I said things to God, thankfully He has forgiven me, I had a lot to ask forgiveness for too, and I said things to my ex whom probably has not forgiven me. Nevertheless, I made it through, one day at a time.

Thinking back on how I made it through being angry when confronted with divorce I owe it all to God of course but also to the people He put in my life. I don’t know what I would have done if I did not have friends and pastors to talk to and pray for me. They were so understanding and patient with me. I recommend giving it over to God in prayer and then getting together with a friend and telling them you are going to gripe for a while. The more I bottled up my feelings the worse I felt so let those close to you help. If you can recognize the anger and what it is doing to you there are also many books out there that can help.

The Five Stages of Grief Are

  1. Denial
  2. Anger
  3. Bargaining
  4. Depression
  5. Acceptance