My husband of six years just left me and my three children for another woman. I am a Christian however he is not. I am having a difficult time accepting this. I don’t want a divorce. I still love my husband. The church tells me God hates divorce but he’s living with this other woman openly less than a week after he left us. I don’t know what to do. I want my marriage back but I want a better improved marriage where my husband has accepted Jesus into his life. Please pray that God’s will be done in this situation and that I will be able to accept it either way. Also, pray that my husband comes to Jesus and accepts him as his savior. I am just so scared for him right now.

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“So let us do all we can to live in peace. And let us work hard to build each other up.” Romans 14:19

Driving home from work last week, I found myself behind one of those cars that was plastered with “peace” type bumper stickers. As it made for good reading, while sitting at the stop light, I began to think about how peace was a nice concept but it simply isn’t human nature. On a grand scale, peace is elusive and there is always a need for peacemakers, in fact I think that most people want peace and that is how the anti-christ will establish a hold on the world, through the promise of peace. True peace doesn’t come until after Jesus comes back and establishes His kingdom upon this earth but that doesn’t mean we can’t desire peace and work towards peace on a smaller personal scale.

Peace with our ex should be a priority in our lives, especially if there are children involved but it can be difficult to obtain such peace with a person that was closer than any other in our lives. Our hearts were broken, trust was lost, and we were faced with hopelessness and pain. So how do you have peace with a person that caused you so much pain? It has to start with a desire to do God’s will. He calls us to live in peace and that doesn’t mean with just the people we like.

Here are a few requirements that I think help achieve peace with an ex-spouse:

  • Peace requires acceptance of the situation.
  • Peace requires seeing your ex as a human being capable of making mistakes, just like you.
  • Peace requires a change of heart that only God can provide.
  • Peace requires forgiveness.
  • Peace requires the power of God’s love flowing through you.
  • Peace requires selflessness.
  • Peace requires you to think before you speak and to say what the Holy Spirit wishes and not your flesh.
  • Peace requires making a choice – a choice to do all the above and live in peace.

As I wrap things up I would like to share something my daughter brought home from her Kindergarten Sunday school class that talks about peace (credit goes to The reThink Group).

  1. Some people may think that making peace is lame, but God says that peacemakers are better off than hot heads. Peacemakers usually have stronger friendships, live with less stress, and they live like God says to. Remember that making peace doesn’t make you weak; it makes you stronger!
  2. People who pick fights all the time instead of learning to live in peace usually end up bitter, crabby people with few real friends. But as for peacemakers, God says they have a great future – one filled with contentment and good friends who can talk stuff out. Making peace doesn’t make you weak; it makes your future brighter!
  3. Sometimes we don’t make peace because we are scared. We may think people will make fun of us or try to take advantage of us, but God reminds us that He is on our team!
  4. Making peace makes you strong. It’s true. But you need to remember that the strength comes from God. He is the one wiho will give you the courage to stop the fight or the strength to walk away. And when God is on your side, you can do anything!

Now it is obvious that since this handout was given to a toddler it was intended for something different than finding peace with your ex after divorce, but it is so easy to read these and apply them to the way we think and feel. We can have peace and be at peace with anyone, even our ex-spouse.

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I’m a pastor and been married for 28 years to my wife of whom I love deeply. Also I have been a minister for 25 years and I’m 50 years old. However, she has left me and separated from our marriage.I pray that God will give me strength even though I feel like I’m in a world that is now “totally empty”! We have two children that are married themselves and one granddaughter. It is really hard to preach right now because I know that I am a “WALKING OPEN WOUND”! I need her & I need companionship. Have any similar people or ministers going through this? The reason she left is, “I DON’T KNOW”!

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Submitted by Michele

Hello, Jason!

Do you know of any group that ministers (by praying, showing they care, offering the love of God) to people at the courthouse who are divorcing, going through mediation, have FOC issues, and/or are filing motions? There is such great need for kindness and compassion there. I was thinking about starting a nationwide group if none exists.

Thanks for your help,
Michele

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