Christian
Divorce Recovery
Choose how You're Going to Feel
Day after day while I was going through the divorce I spent way too
much time upset about things I had no control over. I would constantly
encounter thoughts that would upset me or I was unable to answer. A lot
had to do with my ex and what she was doing or “why” was this happening.
Each and every time this happened I would end up sad, depressed, or
angry. Normally it would not bother me but having to go through this day
after day I just got fed up with it. There had to be a better way, a
more healthy way that would help me achieve a happier life.
During this time of my life I received godly counseling, the divorce was
hard on me and I did not know what exactly to do or what was going to
happen next. She often would tell me that I should not let my feelings
control me. It took weeks for me to understand what she was saying. I
felt what I felt and I did not have any control over that, at least that
is what I thought. Isaiah 43:18 says, “Forget the former things; do not
dwell on the past.” I found this to be harder than expected but not
impossible.
One day I was taking a nice little walk stewing on divorce related
circumstances when I thought to myself, “I can’t change this, it is what
it is.” I missed the joy in my life, I missed the control that I used to
have. I
dawned on me that I can have that all back if I simply make the choice
to let it go. At that instant I took that thought and gave it over to
God and made the decision to choose my thoughts. I thought about the
beautiful day and the sun shining on my face. I thought about my little
kid running down the sidewalk laughing and having fun. I was blown away
by how instantly I went from “poor me” to “thank you God.”
With practice I was able to take negative thoughts and turn them around.
No more did I suffer from “bad” days. There is always something that can
be found that is good. There are always old memories of better times and
funny things that can put a smile on your face. That is what it came
down to for me. Choosing to dwell on such thoughts brought the joy back
into my life. Sure I still have negative sad thoughts and I acknowledge
them and let them go. I am powerless over other people but I do have the
ability to choose how I am going to feel today.