Stop Divorce From Happening Again

What can you do to keep divorce from happening again?

Does thinking of marriage the second time around make you nervous? It should – The divorce rate among second marriages is higher than that of first marriages. To stop or at least better your odds of divorce from happening again you need to take the time to prepare yourself for remarriage and the right person.

Marriage and family have always been a major goal of mine. I felt that God would bless me with a wonderful wife and everything would be great. Little did I know that I would have to work at keeping my marriage healthy and of course give God complete control of my life. Marriage creates a lot of stress at times and before you know it God may be third or fourth on the priority list creating additional difficulties; for me it was guilt. I was hard on myself because I did not think I measured up to what God expected of me and I completely forgot about His grace. After my divorce I read the book “Why Grace Changes Everything” and my relationship with God was reborn. I consider this one of the most important lessons in preventing divorce from happening again.

Some second marriages are destined to fail from the beginning; couples are tying the knot before the ink is dry on their previous marriage divorce papers. I have learned over the years that we often repeat the same mistakes unless we change something within us, whether that is a habit, thought or character trait. Unless you “fix” yourself it is highly likely that you will marry the same kind of person which will eventually lead to the same outcome. Learning from past mistakes and improving your mental health is critical in avoiding divorce. Utilizing self-help resources, counseling or support groups are great ways to begin.

From time to time you will miss the companionship, routine and have to deal with loneliness after divorce but these should not be reasons for starting a new relationship. Do yourself a favor and work on improving you and your relationship skills. When you do meet the right person, you will know it, and you will be glad you took the time you did.

6 Don’ts after Divorce

  1. Don’t rush into another relationship and take the time to heal.
  2. Don’t hold on to bitterness and unforgiveness it will only harden your heart and pull you away from God.
  3. Don’t deny that there are things that you can improve upon in your life. Ask God what they are and improve upon them.
  4. Don’t always take your ex’s word for it. Let God reveal them along with close friends you trust.
  5. Don’t self-medicate through drugs, alcohol, or shopping.
  6. Don’t think that you will never be good enough.

It is important for me to remember that God has a plan for me. Sometimes I want things that I am not ready for, and I can see what that has brought me. By trying to wait on Him and by letting Him guide my steps I trust that next time it will be for life.

Matthew 6:25-34

“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.