During divorce, things can get a bit crazy, but you need to remember that your children experience an array of emotions, just like you do, when they find out about the divorce. A typical result is the children blaming themselves for the divorce, which as parents you know is the farthest from the truth but they will remember the times where their parents experienced conflict over them and their behavior.
It is essential to talk openly with your children about the divorce. They need to understand that they are not the cause of it. It may not make them feel ultimately better, but at least it won’t diminish their self-worth. Many children grow up and live healthy productive lives after a divorce, but many don’t. As parents, you want to do the best you can so your children don’t grow up feeling unloved, insecure, or unsure of their role in all of it. Continue reading “Protect, Listen, and Encourage”
When Madalyn was 5 she would continue to ask me why she could not be with mom and dad the same amount of time. And to be honest, I found it extremely difficult to explain to her the reasoning. The truth is more than what she could handle, and most certainly the last thing I would want to tell her and to lie also is difficult. As I would explain the best that I could my daughter would go into “problem-solving” mode and start to offer solutions (it was cute but not realistic).
I was amazed at how much she wanted to see things work out. No matter what the children do suffer because of divorce and they get caught in the middle. Many times they feel responsible, and this is not acceptable. Here are a few postcards sent by kids that struggle with divorce. Credit goes to Post Cards from Splitsville. No matter how poorly you are feeling right now because of divorce, your children need you to be there for them!
Continue reading “The Children Suffer”