Category: Life After Divorce

Keeping life simple and why you should care.

We’ve all heard the saying, “Keep It Simple Stupid.” But in this day and age, it seems almost impossible to find simplicity in life. We are continually being pulled in twenty different directions and couldn’t be further from living a simple life if we tried.

What is Simplicity?

Simplicity is the state, quality or condition of being easy to understand or do. Freedom from complexity.

Simplistic living doesn’t mean we can’t sign the kids up for soccer, join the PTO, take on additional assignments at work, regularly volunteer at church, or get more done around the house. Simplistic living boils down to asking yourself the following five questions and building rest and reflection into your weekly schedule.
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We’ve all had our fair share of conflict and surviving it isn’t the difficult part. It’s the overcoming, prevailing, and being victorious over strife that can be a bit tricky. Conflict close to the heart can be even more difficult, especially when it comes to divorce. Broken relationships tend to proceed with months or even years of unresolved conflict. And it’s that unresolved conflict that can eventually lead to divorce. Contrary to what a lot of people think, you don’t just walk away from your marriage and leave conflict behind, especially if children are involved. If you want to truly survive conflict, you need to learn how to overcome it.
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Joy is a choice, an attitude, so why is it during the holiday season so many people let holiday stress, expectations, and disappointments quench it?

As Christians, I think we are closer to understanding the meaning of Christmas than most. We know it is about Jesus Christ and the gift He gave to every one of us. But over the years Christmas has become commercialized into big bucks. Sure, I have presents under the tree and love watching my little girl’s eyes light up when she opens her gifts but there is a balance to commercial Christmas and Jesus and it is when this equilibrium is out of whack that joy is turned to pity and possibly despair.
Continue reading “Joy, Pity, Despair – Which to Choose?”

Is it only me or are there others that think the older we get, the harder the heart becomes? Recently, I heard a sermon, and the pastor mentioned that we should accept Christ when we first hear the good news (when we are young) because the more time that passes, the harder it becomes. Not because the message changes or God expects more but because life has a way of hardening the heart. I know I am far less patient than I used to be, even as a Christian, I struggle with accepting people whose actions and beliefs are contrary to the norm. I’m not a total jerk, but I find I am becoming more and more stereotypical than my younger years – us against them mentality!
Continue reading “God Loves Everyone”

I remember many years ago my parents telling me that children should be seen, not heard. By the amount of trouble my mouth got me in and still does, it is apparent that I didn’t listen. Instead, let’s consider Mary, who was taught from a young age to be tuned into other people’s feelings and needs while disregarding her own. When she got married and had children, it was her duty to put the family first and not expect anything in return. As a result, Mary learned to tune out her feelings, desires, and needs – she only existed to be there for others.

When Mary’s feelings did surface, she would feel selfish and tell herself they weren’t important, that she was strong and could handle not addressing them. She continued to say to herself that it was her job to take care of others first. Eventually, everything would come to an end. The stress of not taking care of her own needs affected her relationships to the point where her marriage was on the rocks, and she was developing significant health problems.
Continue reading “Do You Feel Invisible?”

Life is always changing, unfortunately, we become blind and wake up 7, 10, 12 years down the road and wonder where time has gone. We see our children grown and independent, our waistline much wider than before, personal relationships are no longer what they were, or we have an overwhelming desire to buy a red sports car.

Countless individuals wake up one day and find that life has made its own choices and passed them by. Recently, I have started contemplating my red sports car and wondering if there is more to life than simply existing. I felt I had missed my true calling, God’s purpose, and inspiration. My wife, the patient soul she is, decided I would be better off if I were to do more than complain and take some action. That’s when I made the decision to read 48 Days to the Work You Love: Preparing for the New Normal by Dan Miller. This isn’t necessarily a book about finding a new job than finding out what you were called to be. By utilizing my God-given skills, inspirations and abilities I can be in tune with God’s will for my life rather than live based on ego and my selfish desires (or the desires of others) that have robbed me of ever being satisfied.
Continue reading “Is Life Passing You By?”

When was the last time you were inspired? Ever notice when you are inspired nothing can stop you? Find your passion and the secret to a productive life.

Christians that believe followers of Christ shouldn’t have the “luxuries” the world has to offer couldn’t be further from the truth, God wants us to have beautiful things, to be successful and have a productive life but He wants to be the center of it. When the love of money, ambitions, and self-are put before God, it then becomes a problem. As we place God first things, tend to fall into place. When our priorities are skewed we are never satisfied, always hungry for more and no matter how much we acquire we are never full – something is still lacking.
Continue reading “Where Does Inspiration Come From”

Is there anyone of us who doesn’t want to experience the fruit of the spirit in a more significant and more fulfilling way?

Galatians 5:22-23 – “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Against such things, there is no law.” (NIV)

Our church pastor has spent several weeks discussing the fruit of the Spirit, what it is and how to get it. Each Sunday at the end of the service I would lean towards my wife and tell her, “I am going to try harder to have more of that.” Interestingly enough, I found it was much more difficult than I thought it would be. Sure, I had days of improvement, but over time it became difficult to maintain love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control in my life.
Continue reading “Fruit of the Spirit: What is It and How to Get It”

Have you ever felt like you don’t have a purpose? Do you think there is something you are supposed to be doing, but you can’t figure out what it is? You know you are destined for more but can’t quite put your finger on it. When we find ourselves in this place, it is easy to get complacent or frustrated and give up on finding our real purpose and passion.

At some point in your life, you may have been in touch with your passion, but your passion took back seat to other “more important” things. Perhaps you got married, had children, fostered a ‘safe’ career or had a crisis or tragedy. You haven’t had time to figure out your purpose and passion. And sometimes people let go of their desires for those of others. This might lead to temporary happiness, but eventually, they come to realize that they aren’t as fulfilled as they thought they would be. They lost touch with their original goals and soul and have no sense of what their passion or purpose is any longer.
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Many Christians, including me, struggle with hearing God’s voice. There was a time in my life when I felt abandoned and lonely and did not believe that God would talk to me. However, eventually, I realized that God wants to have a relationship with me and with every relationship, there is two-way communication. The problem was not that God wasn’t talking to me but was the fact that I was not tuned into Him. My desires and the constant static interference of the world drowned out His voice. To hear Him I needed to learn how He speaks and through what channels.

The Different Ways God Talks to Us

Each time you hear God, it doesn’t have to be in the form of a miraculous event such as a burning bush or thunder from the sky. God speaks to His children in many different ways.
Continue reading “How God Talks to Us”