The pain from divorce is tremendous; it is numbing at first, then all of a sudden it begins to sting, and nothing seems real anymore, like being trapped in a nightmare. For many, the question evolves, “Where is God in all of this?” which can add to the hurt. Often, the person leaving the marriage has already met someone else, and they appear carefree and happy with little concern for what their spouse is feeling creating overwhelming feelings of loneliness and jealousy. There isn’t much a person can say or do at this point to make you feel better; it is simply going to take some time.
Managing the Pain of Divorce
After separation or divorce it is easy to feel hopeless, angry, bitterness, lonely and self-pity. For a short time these feelings may be part of the healing process but the longer you allow yourself to remain this way the worse you will feel. It is important to focus on rebuilding your life after divorce by looking forward, not back. If you want to stop hurting you need to focus on the things that don’t hurt. Look at your life in a new light and find areas for self-improvement. There is no time limit on how long you will hurt after divorce; it is up to you and the choices you make.
Every time you feel overwhelmed with feelings of hurt give it over to God and when you pray, do it as a child and tell God exactly how you feel. Don’t be ashamed of the anger, hopelessness, and confusion. God knows, and He will heal you if you allow Him to work in your life. Spiritual and emotional growth can be uncomfortable at times, but the result is a healthier relationship with God and others.
Focusing on negative feelings such as; pity, anger, bitterness, resentment, etc., should only last so long. Even when you are hurting you can feel better if you put yourself out there and help others. Giving is very therapeutic, and in time you will move from grief to joy.
Forgiveness is a significant factor when it comes to healing and getting over the hurt after divorce. Not only should you forgive your partner but yourself, God and anyone else that may be involved. Forgiveness is powerful, and as hard as it is sometimes, it should not be overlooked.
Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.